It's like beating my head against a frelling wall over there.
Fuck this. I'm done with them. Miss Jeanne, henceforth the Wicked Mod of the West, can screw herself quite nicely with her hypocrisy and tantrums and drive away everyone who helped her become a success quite well on her own. She doesn't need me to stick around and she doesn't want help in avoiding it, so I'm out.
I give the forum 'till Christmas, and fully expect it to be a laughingstock soon, when more people realize what it's turned into.
I used to have a lot of respect for Miss Jeanne. She used to be, in a word, fun. But now EHell is getting rid of the favorite folder of a great many people, and replacing it with "Oh hey, let's gossip about those terrible celebrities!" They're turning into a bunch of mean of biddies over there.
What the hell happened to make them take themselves so fucking seriously?
You are easygoing and a pleasure to be around. Good looking, you have a pleasant shape and tasteful clothes. You demand little in others, but you tend not to forgive their mistakes. Dominant, you like to lead and enjoy making decisions for others. Overall, you are cheerful, honest, noble, generous, and funny.
On another site, I'm a member of a forum that deals with toxic families and how to cope. Recently a woman in a very abusive marriage posted asking for advice. She's horribly naive and either can't or won't see that her husband is steadily escalating his violence (and will, eventually, kill her and possibly her children).
She's very resistant in large part because her church has pressured her to return to him (she left once for a few weeks). She also posted saying that she'd thought she'd heard God speaking to her, but now doubts it. She thought He had supported her returning to her husband, but now thinks His message is to leave. I wrote this to try and get her to see the truth.
I don't think you should doubt that you're hearing God's voice. I think you're a little confused about what He's saying though. I don't think He's telling you what to do to get his support: He's saying that He'll be with you no matter what you decide.
Unfortunately, I don't think your church is interested in supporting you in having a relationship with a loving deity. (I switch to the word "deity" here for two reasons: I'm not Christian, and I think that anyone can have this relationship regardless of what deity/deities they worship.)
Let me share with you what I know about loving deities:
Loving deities do not require or encourage you to live in or with pain. Loving deities will support you no matter your decision. Loving deities won't punish you for admitting a mistake and making efforts to fix it. Loving deities want you to be happy and healthy.
Do any of those things make you think a loving deity would ask you to go back to your husband?
Does your church's actions support a loving deity?
I don't know how effective it will be, but I think it's a good and important point that I'll doubtless need to raise with someone else along the way.
Hopefully I'll be able to add more to it later. I know there's more to be said.